The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
