I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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