Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
