and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
