You're completely useless in the revolution.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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