Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
