What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
