I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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