i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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