So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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