some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
