so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
