I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
