sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
