I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
