So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
