She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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