i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
