I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
