his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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