I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
