My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
