you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
