Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
