my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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