oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
