I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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