Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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