Sponge bath it is.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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