He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
