Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
