i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
