garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
