Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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