if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
