We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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