:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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