a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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