This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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