No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
