Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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