no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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