Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
