can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
