Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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