Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
