two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
