His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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