Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
