Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
