Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
