Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
